Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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