My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
