ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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