Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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