Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think your dad took our porno
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
