can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize