I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
