just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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