well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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