so explain again why im purple
no
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
