she takes plan B like it's going out of style
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And then my night got REAL pukey
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
