You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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