but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
