Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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