At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
