I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
