Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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