watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
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