How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
