I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
