Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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