I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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