Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
is wine microwaveable?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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