Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
