carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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