Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
