you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
