yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
