Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
