Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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