yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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