Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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