If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
