She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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