Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
