dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
