pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
