I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
