you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
