its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
