I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
