And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you had me at cake vodka
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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