I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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