just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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