I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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