I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
