How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
