just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
