If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
