I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
