apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize