How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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