Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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