I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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