Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
