Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
