I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
