what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
