dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
