why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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