i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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