We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Can I color on your dick again?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
